Jarrell

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:21:11 GMT

I feel sooo stupid for believing everything he said. And the worst part is I think this one is gonna be hard to get over.

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:42:27 GMT

The Last Goodnight > dick

The drama will not last forever!

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:11:15 GMT

So I came out to my mom about 2 weeks ago. She reacted exactly how I expected her to react. It could've been worse I guess, at least there was no yelling or crying which, knowing my mother, is saying a lot. Still there are times when she randomly makes a comment like "I think you're really not gay" or "Maybe it's just a temporary phase". She even asked me to see a therapist and/or a priest, I hope she eventually understands it cannot be "cured". What comforts me is that she said she doesn't approve but she won't turn her back on me either so I guess it's not all bad.

And when it comes to my boyfriend I seem to be making past mistakes all over again. One would think I've learned from past relationships what NOT to do but apparently I'm bound to screw things up over and over again. I only wish I had not fallen in love so fast and so hard.

But I only need to survive the rest of the week. After that everything will slowly but surely go back to normal. Or so I hope.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:54:08 GMT

So, yesterday there was a thunderstorm that fried my computer, TV and stereo. Seriously at this point this summer cannot get any worse.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:38:05 GMT

So I really can't stand the situation at home anymore. My mom questions every fucking decision I make and she's more involved in my life than is healthy, she always thinks I'm lying to her when I really haven't given her any reasons to doubt my word. She also has the dumbest rules of all time! I can't have friends over anymore and I can't be in MY OWN FUCKING ROOM for long periods of time. Seriously it's beyond ridiculous.
I think it might be time to consider moving out but I'm not sure if I'll be able to sustain myself financially. Maybe getting a roommate would be a good idea or maybe suspending college for one year so I can get a full-time job. I don't know, the whole idea of moving out freaks me out and it's just too much to take in, but something needs to be done about it sooner rather than later.

Y ahora dale sin miedo hasta que se rompa el suelo

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:37:16 GMT

I know a sound like a fucking broken record but Wisin y Yandel are the best thing to happen to the music industry in a long time. Here's a very yummy pic of Yandel:

Pride was a lot of fun, never imagined it would be such a massive event. Problems are at an all-time high in my life but I'm too lazy to even consider solving them. The funny part is that I do have the motivation right now in my life to change for the better, maybe I like my comfort zone too much or maybe I'm just naturally lazy?

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:40:26 GMT

So I'm in debt, and my scholarship still can't come through because of bureaucratic crap. I don't want to ask my parents for money because they're the kind of people who always rub in your face the favors they've done for you. I can work extra hours but man I really need some time off, I'm tired of having zero free days because of work, school and my dumb internship which is a little less than halfway done. The fucking scholarship would solve all my financial issues but it will most likely be delayed for at least another month, so yeah, extra hours it is! There goes my fucking summer.

And on a completely unrelated note, I've been with my boyfriend for a month now. He's really awesome and I have strong feelings for him but I don't know...my female intuition (lfr) is giving me a warning sign about him. He used to be VERY promiscuous in the past and he openly talks about it which is better than concealing it I guess, but you know what they say "once a lion, always a lion". It's not pretty to always be wondering what he might be doing when he's out in the club at night, "is he really behaving himself?", "what if he's hooking up with someone right now?", "am I really important enough for him to change his old ways?". I guess I shouldn't worry too much because he really is amazing when we're together, but it would really suck if I get hurt again.

And on another completely unrelated note, Wisin & Yandel should be kings of the world and I mean it. "Pam Pam", also known as "3 minutes and 47 seconds of sheer perfection" is by far the best spanish song ever known to mankind. They have countless other masterpieces such as "Ahora Es", "Noche de Sexo", "Paleta", "Yo Te Quiero" and the list keeps going on and on and on. Your life is not complete if you don't listen to them at least once a day so everybody start completing your life right now!

Oh crap

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:19:33 GMT

So I have a boyfriend! And it's all been wonderful so far. The problem is that I'm not out to my family yet so I have to introduce him as a friend when he comes over and stuff. My mom is starting to ask a bunch of questions like "why does he call you everyday" and "why do you always have to walk him home" and all I can do is stay silent which I'm sure only arouses her suspicions more.
I think it might be time to come out to the family, but something tells me it's gonna be a very painful process. Ugh.

Lazyness

Fri, 09 May 2008 23:32:46 GMT

God! I've been finding it really hard to do shit lately. I constantly find myself skipping class, the gym, postponing homework, not doing my chores etc. Most of the time I'll be like "blehhh I'm too lazy, I'll just play Pokemon instead". I know no good can come out of this much lazyness but I just can't find a way to stop it. Truth is it takes a lot of strength from me to even complete my daily routine which makes me feel guilty and terrible at the end of the day when I'm in bed and I think of everything I should've done during the day but didn't. And I'm not even depressed or anything, just really reallllyyyyy lazy. Probably just a major lack of motivation?
Has this ever happened to anyone? How can I overcome it? Advice needed badly :-!

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 21:16:28 GMT

Top Commenters on myjiveislikewo's LiveJournal
(Self comments excluded from rankings)

1	orangepixistix	101
2	silverlime	85
3	7millionaire7	60
4	phoenixsaga	41
5	aifan055	38
6	spikeyhairboy	37
7	xplicitng	35
8	mharvster	30
9	wonderfulyou	24
10	edallastar	22

11	daniellas522	21
12	orgilion	16
13	udonotexist	13
14	jase75	13
15	jrtgirl2005	12
16	nazonatte69	11
17	kworb	11
18	chibidio	10
19	dreamtsolong	9
20	italianpunk47	8
21	emptyhanded84	8
22	zeusette	7
23	lphybrid18	7
24	merliss	7
25	graveled	6
26	besointoxicante	6
27	saturateme	5
28	aps817817	5
29	buddhaful5	5
30	shexylexy	4
31	musicalflamingo	4
32	he_whore69	4
33	tastelikefire	3
34	pandalynn	3
35	bsbfreak41428	3
36	Anonymous	3
37	wakingup	3
38	blucupcakes	3
39	pseudo_circle	2
40	wtfstrikesback	2
41	axis316	2
42	korn0818	1
43	nickl1185	1
44	2getherfan4life	1

Total Commenters: 45 (1 not shown)
Total Comments: 785
Report generated 26/04/2008 04:11:32 p.m. by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.7

Such a great month!

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:06:13 GMT

This has been such an amazing month! I just found out last week that they're upgrading my scholarship to an approximate of $1000 to spend it ALL on myself (since I already got the tuition for next semester covered). I plan to take my family out to dinner or something nice and buy new clothes since my wardrobe could use an upgrade.I'm also gonna get music because I haven't (legally) gotten any new music this year besides Kylie's "X". Whoever said money can't buy happiness just didn't know where to buy it!
Last night I went to Juan's birthday party. It was the first get-together after that majorly awkward occasion when Brandt found out I'm gay. I was sorta afraid since Brandt is very very homophobic but he seemed to take it well since he never brought it up and treated me just like always.
Seriously such a great month, still, sometimes I just can't help but feel a little down and lonely. I guess I just need a fucking boyfriend, badly.

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:22:40 GMT

Wow! Can't believe the 1st quarter of the year is almost over!
Winter just finished and oddly enough, it just started getting cold here after a very warm and sunny winter. I'm still on spring break doing absolutely nothing! It sucks that in one week I have to go back to the same old routine but it's comforting to know I'm getting closer and closer to my goal which is to finish college!
It's also comforting that Ashanti is back!!! Her latest masterpiece The Way That I Love You took a while to grow on me but now I can't get enough of it.

And on a completely unrelated note, I present you the WTF moment of the decade: 2 days ago I went on a date with some dude to Starbucks and after a while the conversation got steamy so we decided to take it to a hotel room. When we got there, they said they can't rent rooms to 2 males!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously...I knew Mexico was a homophobic country but I never truly realized the extent of this homophobia until this happened. Fucking third world country.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:42:04 GMT

So it's spring break and apparently it's gonna be a very calm one. I've been doing absolutely nothing other than playing Pokemon, listening to music and watching TV. Normally I'd have plans with friends but lately we've all been distant from each other. Honestly I'm not even interested in keeping in touch, maybe we've all mutually grown tired of each other and stopped caring? Whatever the case, it's gonna be me myself and I for the next 2 weeks and my sole activity will basically be hitting the gym even though I can't fucking control my eating habits and as much as I'm exercising, I'm not really seeing any results lately. I haven't smoked in 2 days (something I had never accomplished since I started smoking) which proves I'm strong enough to achieve any goals I set for myself, but seriously I keep asking myself why even bother quitting?
It feels like everything I do lately doesn't really have a purpose since I'm not really doing anything productive with my life and, in the end, I'm not genuinely happy. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just stayed in my room forever. Would it make any difference at all? Blehhh, I just wish I had some form of motivation to keep going everyday -_-

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:45:16 GMT

Name a song that:

01. Reminds you of an ex-lover: LL Cool J - "Hush"
02. Reminds you of an ex-friend: Gwen Stefani - "Early Winter"
03. Reminds you of your childhood: 4 Non Blondes - "What's Up"
04. Makes you cry: Natasha Bedingfield - "Soulmate"
05. Makes you laugh: Soulja Boy - "Yahhh!"
06. Makes you wanna dance: Kat DeLuna - "Whine Up"
07. Reminds you of your love interest: Aly & AJ - "Potential Break-Up Song"
08. Makes you very, very sleepy: Evanescence - "Good Enough"
09. You wish you wrote: Darren Hayes - "Unlovable"
10. You wish had been written for you: 112 - "Nowhere"
11. Fills you with complete joy: Wayne Wonder - "No Letting Go"
13. You want to get married to: Jesse McCartney - "Because You Live"
14. You want played at your funeral: No Doubt - "Bathwater"
15. Makes you want to mosh/slam dance: Avenged Sevenfold - "Bat Country"
16. Sums up your teenage years: Kylie Minogue - "Can't Get You Out of my Head"
17. You used to hate but now love: Britney Spears - "Piece Of Me"
18. You like to wake up to: Lil' Mama - "Lip Gloss"
19. You like out of your parent's record collection: Ricky Martin - "Pegate"
20. Your parents like out of your collection: Nigga - "Te Quiero"
21. You love that you wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend: Blake Lewis - "Surrender"
22. Makes you think of someone who died: ---
23. You love the video more than the tune: Justin Timberlake - "Cry me a River"
24. Reminds you of your first crush: "Dido - Here With Me"
25. You love which is from one of your favorite movies: B2K - "Badaboom"
26. Makes you think of the moon: Brandy - Full Moon
27. Makes you think of last summer:Paula DeAnda - "Easy"
28. Makes you think of being alone: Avril Lavigne - "Nobody's Home"
29. You love to hear at clubs: Enur Feat. Natasja - "Calabria 2007"
30. You're Listening To Right Now: Los Super Reyes - "Serenata"

LFR

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:34:08 GMT

Sorry about the last entry, I just freaked out for a moment but it wasn't that big of a deal and I'm cool now :)

So let's talk about music! All I've been listening lately is Alicia Keys, Craig David and Kylie Minogue's latest albums.

Alicia Keys' "As I Am" is a very solid, soulful album that truly speaks to your heart. You can easily relate to the songs and you can actually feel Alicia's emotions through her voice. The highlight of the album for me is "Lesson Learned" with John Mayer.

Craig David's "Trust Me" is the most diverse album of his entire career. He has slow, midtempo and upbeat songs with a wide lyrical variety ranging from break-up songs to songs about being stuck home on a friday night. The higlight of this album is by far "Friday Night"

Kylie Minogue's "X" is the perfect comeback album for this incredibly amazing tramp. It resembles "Body Language" in that they both have an 80s feel to it, but I'd personally choose "X" over BL any day. It's the album you'd like to listen when you want to feel good. The highlight is "Speakerphone"

And now let's discuss singles! The latin single of the moment is without a doubt "Serenata" by Los Super Reyes. I don't know if they're better than the Kumbia All Starz as a whole, but "Serenata" definitely tops anything KAS have ever done.
And if you wanna talk guilty pleasures, Britney Spears' "Piece Of Me" is your song of choice! It's soo incredibly addictive and mesmerizing that it makes you wonder how such a messed-up person came up with it.
But my favorite song at the moment definitely has to be either "Tattoo" or "No Air", both by Jordin Sparks. There's just something about them...damn! Of course we can't leave out Bow Wow & Omarion's "Girlfriend" and "Hey Baby", both catchy as fuck. I think Bow Wow and Omarion make such a great team and they blend together sooo well.

What has everyone been listening to lately? I wanna know!!!

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:32:59 GMT

It's time for random things I hate!

- I hate waiting 19 hours
- I hate when you know someone who can change your future but you find out they might be lying
- I hate uncertainty and anxiety
- I hate sweating cold
- I hate that after being completely alright for about 18 months, I might become depressed again

What I do love though, is cryptic entries like this one :)

Worst dream ever!

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:06:14 GMT

So last night I had the worst nightmare of all time. It was about my mom dying...well more like the aftermath of my mom's death since in the dream it was never revealed how or why she died.
It was soo horrible, in the dream I was feeling soo much pain because I would never see her again. At one point it got sooo vivid that I remember crying in the dream and then waking up in tears.

Sometimes I take my mom for granted or do things that she doesn't deserve, like ignoring her or being mean to her or yelling at her, but seriously this dream made me appreciate her a lot more and realize how unfair I can be to her sometimes. She deserves to be treated better and that's what I'm gonna do from now on before it's too late and I end up regretting it for the rest of my life.

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 00:24:43 GMT

So I think it's time for an alias change. Randy just doesn't suit me anymore. I think I'm more of a Rico or a Terrell or even a Todd.

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 19:46:17 GMT

(Grammar might be a bit off since i'm tired, hungry and kinda hungover)

JESUS FUCK! I haven't updated in decades but today I remembered I had this and decided to post basically just to say hi to everyone.

I've changed a lot as a person since the last update. I'm no longer the pessimistic depressive whiny cunt I was once. I learned to not take things too seriously and don't make a big deal out of everything and it worked out just fine! I'm very happy at this moment in my life and I have been for a while now. Sure, I still have some issues and bad days like everyone does but now I deal with them with a much more optimistic approach instead of letting it get me down. I've made tons of new friends, joined the local gym, got a scholarship because of my good grades, got a great job where I basically get paid to do nothing lmao, and I'm gonna try to get my american visa this year so I can get out of Mexico as soon as I finish college. Seriously I've changed soo much you wouldn't even recognize me anymore.

What has everyone been up to in the past six months?! I wanna know!!!

favorite songs of May

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 22:45:41 GMT

1. T-Pain ft Yung Joc - Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')
2. Vanessa Hudgens - Say OK
3. Rihanna ft Jay-Z - Umbrella
4. Linkin Park - What I've Done
5. Northern State - Better Already

Tue, 15 May 2007 13:29:54 GMT

For the past 6 years I've made people believe I hate Linkin Park with a burning passion but I think it's time to come clean and admit they're not that bad. Sure they have shitty songs like Breaking The Habit, One Step Closer and Papercut, but the majority of their songs are actually good :-! I don't know why I kept up with this lie for sooo long but yeah there you go :-x

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 16:20:09 GMT

So I had class at 9AM but I slept in and now I feel guilty. It's not like I missed anything important or relevant. In fact I can borrow someone's notes and catch up with no problem. Except I feel extremely guilty that I missed the fuckin class. I'm such a fuckin nerd.

Goodbye LJ

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 23:58:22 GMT

For the past 3 years I've updated this LJ on a regular basis, usually with details about my (boring) life. Lately, i know it seemed like i made entries here to:

a) get attention
b) get sympathy
c) have people feel sorry for me

None of those are the actual reasons why i post here, the actual reason for posting here was just to let everything out, kinda like a catharsis.
So i decided I no longer will put my business out there for everyone to read since

a) Some of you are tired of my negativeness
b) Some of you don't even care
c) Some of you get worried when you read these entries and it's not fair

Like i said, the only reason for posting here was because it made me feel better letting stuff out and since I definitely want to still have that, I created another LJ account for that purpose alone: talk about ANYTHING i want. I'm the only person who knows about that account, you know, kinda like an actual journal that nobody but the owner reads, don't bother asking for it cause I won't give it to you.

If i ever decide to update this again, it will probably be just random stuff: songs, lyrics, pictures, surveys etc. but honestly I doubt i'll keep this active, i'll probably only use it to read and comment on my friends' journals since I definitely want to keep reading their journals.

Thanks everyone who bothered reading this for 3 years, I seriously appreciate it.

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 18:18:06 GMT

If you want to be added, leave a comment and I'll add you right away